Most days it seems as if I am living in a gaslight nightmare! riddled with anxiety about what I say or do. Avoiding certain topics and being mindful of the verbiage I use. One slip up and it triggers an episode that will last ALL night and day. Loving someone who truly does not see how exhausting they are is heartbreaking. It is whiplash full throttle. The constant “You don’t love me!” “you’re always ignoring me!” “I’m last on your mind always!”. I could give him the moon but if I do not respond when he wants cue the arguments. Phone calls at 2 or 3am must be answered or these are my actions proving I do not care. Yet I wake up to multiple awful and mentally draining messages. Many voicemails stating “You suck!” “Fuck off!” “Are you going to continue to be a piece of shit!?” “I want a divorce.” Followed by text messages calling me a “Belligerent cunt.” Then I am expected to be okay with this because he was mad and “Fuck my feels” he’s going to say what he wants when he wants regardless of what anyone feels. Then turns around and try’s to make you feel guilty for calling him out on his behavior towards me. Trying to justify why he’s valid in treating people in this manner. Essentially, don’t be so sensitive, don’t piss me off, and I wouldn’t say what I do. You can’t be mad at me for calling a spade a spade can you!?